Lately

Haven't written here for a long time.
Mainly because everything i have to say is plainly pessimistic.
Also because i have caught cold and not feeling well.
Everyone in my family has cold now and i guess it began with my brother's wife. . .
Heh
Piles of work, lack of sleep and motivation, rare meals, what else a person needs to dive into depression?

Heavy thoughts

Going to sleep at 5am AGAIN.
if I were to tell what's on my mind now, it'd be too gloomy even for me to bear.
Life is constantly giving me reasons for . . . contemplation.
I still don't know whether to like it (life) or hate it.
I still don't know, maybe tomorrow would be my last day.
Oh yeah. We all don't know.
But not every of us has to think about that on a daily basis.

Blasted w***

I guess i should change my attitude towards people with stupid demands. Today i got worked up because of some stupid web site, yet another web site and incoherent clients. I should have known better than that. After all, they don't give a dam' about me.
If i were to die because of their stupid business, they wouldn't bother and never consider themselves guilty in any way. So why the hell i should give a dam' about them at all?
An air of polite attention is the best they should get from me. Impolite if they should act rum.
Yep, that's the way it should be.

My lord often tells me i should believe in good people. Good people in this world eh?
To that i can answer like J. Jerome : that is my opinion in general. I do not deny that there may be honourable exceptions, i truly wish that There're some. But personally i rarely met them.
You may remember that story of his about tow-lines. . .

Epic Architectural Fail and Yet Another Fail

#1

This is actually a newly built residential complex in Shanghai, China. 

On the morning of June 27, 2009, one of the buildings toppled over, just barely missing an adjacent building. Had it not missed, it might have caused a horrifying domino effect.

The building that fell just awaited tenants to move in and therefore only one person died in the accident and a few more were injured.

#2

This is a hotel in Las Vegas, featuring unique curved structure.
However on a sunny day inner surface of building collects solar rays and projects them as a ray into the swimming pool area, regularly burning skin and possessions of guests. Thankfully, no casualties there.

5 most hated jobs in U.S. (and I can see why)

When I say 'hated' I mean people who have those jobs hate them.

1. Director of Information Technology

IT directors reported the highest level of dissatisfaction with their jobs, far surpassing that of any waitress, janitor, or bellhop. Of those who responded to the survey, one simple, five-word response summed up the antipathy very well: "Nepotism, cronyism, disrespect for workers."

2. Director of Sales and Marketing

Sales and marketing directors reported the second-highest level of job dissatisfaction of all survey respondents. The majority who responded negatively cited a lack of direction from upper management and an absence of room for growth as the main sources of their ire.

3. Product Manager

The level of job dissatisfaction was very high for this position. One respondent complained that it restricted growth, saying that it was "very hard to grow up the ranks." Another was less polite and said "the work is boring and there's a lot of clerical work still at my level."

4. Senior Web Developer

Senior developers reported a high degree of unhappiness in their jobs, attributable to a perception their employers are unable to communicate coherently, and lack an understanding of the technology.

5. Technical Specialist

Technical specialists reported that for all their expertise, they were treated with a palpable level of disrespect. They cited a "lack of communication from upper management" and felt their "input was not taken seriously."

Bride

Took some time to finish another drawing of mine - bride. Now it's 99% done.
Wonder when I'll do 1% that's left. . .

Lottery ticket

Bought my very first lottery ticket today.

Why?
Because few days ago I was walking past paybox terminal and noticed they feature national lottery too. And something started nagging me to buy a ticket, but I was with my lord and he'd think I'm crazy. So I just walked past it. And today I found out that in that precise round of lottery someone won more than $700k.
not that I think I'm gonna win something - on the contrary, I think my $1 is totally wasted - but I did it to come to peace with myself.

Proverb

Everybody's business is nobody's business.

Asylum

I swore to myself i won't write about politics here and i won't.
I just wanna say that today when I was heading back from a meeting in the center of the city and decided to walk to Klovskaya underground station I had to pass Kreshatyk and other savory places.
You know what's going on there now, right?
Those shouting megaphones are really persistent.
But walking past them is utterly disgusting.
Congratulations, people.
We're living not only in garbage bin, but also in asylum and prison - armed asylum I guess.

Our *dear* city

Yesterday when I was walking the town I got the clearest idea how much I despise it.
Dirty streets, awful street cover, unfriendly people, street traders and street thieves, youth and schoolboys drinking vodka before 4pm, primary schoolboys swearing like sailors, heavily painted schoolgirls with cigarettes and beer and swearing too. . .
Our city - no, our country - is really a garbage bin.

It's hard to think how one is supposed to build a future in such conditions.

Real-life image of Saturn

Real-life image of Saturn

The shot is taken by NASA's Cassini robotic orbiter and was captured from the dark side of Saturn as the Sun's bright rays illuminated every piece of dust and debris circling the planet.

Cool eh?

Original size here

Coffee

Tired.
To the extent that I put a pot with ground coffee and sugar on the stove without pouring water in.
Good thing is I realized it immediately.
bad thing is I am tired.

Tanpopo - Last Kiss

I found this old song and listened to it too many times yesterday I guess :)
(it is also known as ED of Sorcerer Stabber Orphen)



Tanpopo - Last Kiss

本当にスキだったあなたがいない
初めての恋終わった
今夜は夢に笑顔のままで
出てこないだよね

最後のセリフ口に出すまで
困ってたあなた
最後のセリフ口にしたすぐ後
なのに口づけ

唇にだけ
止めてよあなたの温もりが
唇にだけ
ずっと残ってる
優しいあなた

本当に何もわからないまま
あなた信じて終わった
明日はあなたのキライな色の
ｆ服を着てみるは
あなたのアドレス消してやったは
写真も捨てたは
あなたの全て思いで消したのよ
なのにどうして


唇にだけ
どんなに忘れようとしても
唇にだけ
ずっと残ってる
最後のあなた

[REPEAT]

Middle age

Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose one that will get you home earlier.

Late evening and lone supper

It's evening, 9pm. I'm sitting alone in the kitchen and eat my supper. Alone as I said.
Before we went to the cemetery to visit mother's grave, since today is her birthday. Some people from her class came too, though most of them were irritating me.
Then we came home near 7.30pm and I tried to get my men to eat. They denied food and about 8pm went to take a nap.
I made supper in anticipation that they would wake up hungry, but the two of them seem to want more sleep. While I don't feel sleepy at all.
I got hungry and made myself some food.And
Now I sit here and we're back where we began.

My mood. . .
On evenings like this I get the strong feeling of not belonging to where I am, like it all is a big huge mistake and I should be somewhere else. Or be someone else.
A feeling of looking at yourself from third person view, something like that.
It is a very strange feeling.
Overwhelmed by a sense of mortality and fleeting moments, am I now?

Today also I made my mind about my plans for future 3 years if I were to survive this year.
Maybe I will put them down in private record, for the annals.

Reading a book about crime in disabled's house. Not very funny or amusing if you ask me, but its severity complements my mood.

A quote from it (book):
"regretfully he understood that despite being 17 Peter carried all loads of cynicism middle age can offer".

Takes me back to thinking over "jaded" as a word.

French

Je n'ai pas écrit quelque chose en français pendant un an. J'ai l'habitude de lire des articles et des livres en français. Autre que cela, je n'utilise pas beaucoup le français.
Aujourd'hui, j'ai lu quelques articles en français et a décidé de voir ce qu'il reste de ma connaissance.

J'ai été complètement déçu.
J'ai appris le français dans les jours d'école.
D'une certaine manière ma capacité à écrire en français a été réduit à de simples phrases. Quand j'écris, je dois arrêter et vérifier les livres de grammaire ou de dictionnaires, même si, quand je lis, je me sens confortable et presque confiante.

Je n'ai jamais utiliser le français pour travaille et dans dernièrement j'ai rarement l'utiliser du tout.
Être capable de comprendre une langue est une chose; être capable de l'utiliser est une autre chose.

Je me dis souvent «Je peux apprendre le français si je fais un effort». Mais est-ce vrai?

[Mais aujourd'hui j'ai enfin rappelé pourquoi je écrivent parfois «confortable» (en anglais) au lieu de «comfortable»] ^^

Who is it?

Saw this on yahoo.

Try to guess whose high school picture this is:

I dare say that it was the only person I guessed in a series of "celebrities' high school pictures" article.

Nationality talk

Had a mood to run doing bosses with random parties in Allods online. Met few people from various corners of Europe.
As usually my cleric was a hit of the day or savior of the party. . . Funny how you get into a raid (5+ character party) with three other priests and only you can heal. Others are dd conversions. . .
But nevermind. What I wanted to say is this old talk in a new old manner.
We were doing bosses as I said (Ugluk, Kosmach, whatever) and I met a person from Sweden with whom we formed a party for an hour or so. Later on some English person joined into the talk and started bugging us with who are you questions. The dialogue was typical, but I will write it down here.
Englishman: Where are you from people?
Swedish man: I am Swedish
E: And you?
Me: I am Ukrainian.
E: :O
S: it's a nationality man
E: ? ? ?
Me: it's a country near Russia
E: oh, how come you speak English? They don't speak English in Russia
me: now I start to get offended
S: people learn languages

That was pretty much it but it's very typical. People think that this country is barbaric (which it is to some extent ) and all who dwell in it are considered stupid barbarians. Even though I'm ukrainian I don't like being considered that. And yes I sometimes have to tell people that bears do not roam our main streets and we don't live in taiga. . .
Russia and Ukraine are so deeply entwined in minds of some people that it's almost impossible to separate those two images.

Allods

Started to play Allods online again on EU servers. Actually started a new character, kanian healer.
Maybe in some time I would go back to my druid character since I love my battle pet Mr. Chew.
As it is EU servers are ok at low levels, while after lv 40 it'd be hard to play without money. We'll see, I rarely stick around for endgame.

Future and present

Today we've performed burial ceremony for grandmother.
We had to contact the church and get many other details done.
Also I haven't slept well in a week. In the morning I almost overslept and was risen by phone call rather than my alarm clock.
Dad was looking sad but tough today. I guess this all is twice as hard on him.
Lots of work to do and even more to follow. I have no idea how were going to run our business starting next week. . .
As in that article I read when I was little 'I should win a lottery ' .

Maybe

Maybe this world is another world's hell.

Summer

So much for summer when I turned 25: nothing but horrible events.
I drastically changed my opinion on life in general and can't say it's good.
Now that summer is gone I can't keep but miss all the things I could have done.
Time isn't going to turn back even on small things.