о женщинах

Лично я делю женщин на две категории: кошки и курицы. Кошки редко дружат с другими кошками, и если дружат, то с немногими. Курицы же всегда легко и весело собираются в курятник и счастливы в нём. При этом всякая курица думает про себя, что она — лебедь

on happenings in Ukraine (2)

[forgive my ramblings, it's getting very late and I'm very tired after a long emotional day]

Discussions in social networks (both Russian-speaking and English-speaking) showed me that lots of people out there misunderstand what's the whole point of ... well... unrest in this country.

They think it's about the EU deal. Hm, yeah, it is. But it isn't JUST about that.

If you had to live here you'd know what living here is like. Since 'declaration of independence' Ukraine struggles with widespread corruption, organized and/or violent crime, lack of social services, poor medical service, "insolence of office", extreme bureaucracy, inefficient and corrupt judiciary system, high taxes... I could go on and on.

[ Still, if you look at our 'beloved' neighbor Russia, people there are having it a lot worse. If it wasn't for oil, I doubt Russia would be around today. And please - I'm not talking about Moscow - even Russians joke that Russia and Moscow are two completely different things. ]

Since 1991 when USSR era ended and Ukraine became independent, at first our parents, and then we - young generations of Ukrainians - were promised 'improvements in the quality of life'. Instead, politicians and organized crime units robbed the state and stuffed their pockets with money, disregarding anythings that stood in the way and resorting to anything.

I have no idea how many of us survived 1991-1998. Even for my family those years brought days of hunger because we sometimes had no money for food (despite the fact that both of my parents were constantly employed). I remember a huge wave of assassinations in 90's - it touched even my middle school - parents of students were killed, some in broad daylight. When Ukrainian currency was going through high inflation and hyperinflation (1992-1996) most people lost everything, all savings and money. It really was a period of time when only the 'smart' survived.

Some made millions, given access to state resources or having right 'connections'. Most didn't. When we entered year 2000, a solid layer of wealthy people formed in Ukraine. Some chose to forget how they made their fortunes. Some kept to the same methods.

Years 2000-2004 didn't make life easier for 'commoners'. We were dealing with same old s#%@.  Only people who were becoming adults didn't remember that much about the 'great USSR' and were starting to think they shouldn't be treated like slaves just because they were born here. Some sort of 'national pride' and self-esteem started to evolve in younger generation. As well as mentions of such things as 'human rights' and 'freedom of speech'. People were watching life in other countries and started thinking why can't we live that way? Sadly, majority still kept to pro-USSR mentality or was too used to 'our way' that no change was deemed necessary. I don't even mention those who enjoyed living in crime. 

Year 2004 and Orange Revolution was the first attempt to change something in this country. Then people tried to rally against crime lords gaining even more power. Because, strangely, lords in Ukraine don't understand that if you don't let people make money, there'd be nothing to steal. There's a joke in our country, that "in Ukraine, to get twice the amount of milk from the cow, you must milk that cow twice as often". No mention of letting the poor animal eat, ever. Let alone eat better. 

That's the whole essence of people that's been ruling this country: they don't give a damn about people, even if they get richer because of them. They don't see a connection between well-being of people and their well-being. 

After setback that followed Orange Revolution (people thought that new head of state would magically change everything for the better, hah, like that's possible without long hard work) people started losing faith something is ever going to change. The smartest from young generation were leaving and people who gave up on this country or had means to escape still leave. 

Playing disappointment card and economic crisis card (not only that, but let's not go into greasy details), our dear current president got to hold the office. Strangely, some people really voted for him and believed that he can make their life easier. After several years of his presidency everyone came to realize (well, almost everyone), that he's doing worse than his predecessor, elected in 2004, whose 'failures' were so widely advertised by opponents. But if years 2004-2009 brought some sort of relief, at least a vision of improvement glimmering in the dark, years 2010-2013 had seen nothing but fast degradation. 

Why do I bring it up now?

Because in years 2010-2013 we started to see the return of 'golden' 90's. Young adults started to experience the same things their parents had to endure: corruption, drastic change in quality of life, rise of organized crime - hell, even killings in the broad light of the day returned. We had seen atrocious crimes committed by people related to 'power hungry', police or rich, and horrendous attempts of cover-ups. We had seen that human life here is valued 0 coins. Deja vu at its worst. 

And all accompanied by smiley promises of 'bright future' always awaiting just a little further away. Young people started to realize that they - and their children - will have no future in this country. Their hope for better life is being stolen - right here, right now. 

And as we see this, we see Russia turning into a repressed criminal monarchy, going down even faster (though it's economic state is better than ours, social affairs are much, much worse - just read about cases of  'suicides' in their army, when suicide victims' bodies arrive patched up after organs had been removed). And that it's trying to swallow us. 

That's why this EU deal was the last straw, or rather a mug of alcohol spilled into the fire. People are very tired of being exploited, abused and disregarded. I hope more are willing to work towards achievement of their goals instead of waiting for someone to magically 'fix' everything. 

Many foreigners are misunderstanding, stating that Ukrainians think that EU deal was Ukraine actually joining the EU. We get it, no one said Ukraine will be joining the EU anytime soon, or ever. It's just that we're tired of being lied to and tricked out of our expectations without any consequences. We're tired that those who hold power are treating us like @#$%.

So, it's about the EU and it's not about the EU.

To people who face their own troubles in the US, or in the EU, or elsewhere, such way of thinking may look naive, but let me remind you that this country was historically independent only for 20-something years. Before that, Ukrainians never had their own country to rule or lead somewhere. Before that, we all lived in totalitarian society of the USSR that controlled almost everything and denied the need to think and choose; everyone was safely shrouded from politics and economic realities.

I don't know what's going to happen next and have no courage to predict anything, but I'd like to think that this 'uprise' wasn't in vain.

on happenings in Ukraine (1)

If you followed news, you might have heard about "riots" in Ukraine - actually protests taking place right now.  They're the most massive gatherings of people since 2004 and so-called "Orange revolution".

Don't know what you remember about "Orange revolution", but back then I was in the streets with protesters. A student of the university then. Majority of my uni mates attended demonstrations in 2004 and so did I.

This time I didn't go. If you asked me why I didn't, I'd have no ready answer for you. A friend invited my to join and spent at least 6 hours there today.
Of course, I had a visit to relatives scheduled a week ago. Of course, I have enormous amount of work. And then, of course, I look to my left and understand that no one would *allow* me to go... not alone, only with my friend. A part of me, probably, wanted to go because I did have a walk in the city in the evening, around 5pm when atrocities near Bankova started. I witnessed packs of young men in sportswear gather and head down to the very heart of uprising - Independence Square. I saw young policemen drink coffee quite peacefully (in large groups though) and ignore above-mentioned packs of young men in sportswear. But I didn't go nearer than 3km (checked the map for exact number).

If anything, I'm tired.

Maybe - just maybe - if events continue to evolve - even I'd be moved to do something about it. As for now we just have to wait. 

FTIsland - Top Secret

I have to admit I didn't like this song when it was released more than a year ago.
But I listened to it again in singles' collection a week ago and suddenly grew to like it. Maybe because I listened to lyrics from start to finish :)

this photo is just... wrong

don't know about you, but this photo scares me a bit.
it's so unnatural, who would pick it as CD cover?

750 words badges

visited 750 words accidentally and decided to export my badges.
here they are:

a story of one coffee shop

so, let's talk about yesterday... just for the hell of it...

yesterday.

a boring day at work. 

most of the day filled with copy/paste, find/replace with regular expressions and then - proofreading. 

a friend of mine had a nasty experience one day ago - she wanted to meet up and drink. even if it's coffee. therefore, our 'close circle of friends' decided to put everything aside and meet. there were supposed to be the three of us, 'girlfriends'.

I had no luck leaving earlier and was stuck in evening rush hour - entered subway exactly at 6pm.

as you may surmise I had little chance to get where I needed to go till 6:15. earlier in the day I understood I had no spare cash on me and had to grab big banknote from the 'atm'. and if you ever lived here, you'd know that buying a subway ticket with a big bill will result in getting change in a pile of old dirty bills. I had to rummage through all my pockets and purse to find just enough nickels to buy me a ticket - thanks to a person who left the city carrying my magnetic multi-travel pass. 

I had to survive a huge queue to the ticket office where people nearly fought, standing in two or three lines to each of two windows. then - stuffed trains. then - even more stuffed exchange station. I forgot when I saw people so tightly jammed into a tube of a tunnel that leads from one subway station to another. 

I had to go through usual routine race to get into the train at one of the exchange stations - its common rush hour plague being that out of 20 seconds stay allocated for each train at the station, 15 or more are usually used up by passengers that exit the car. then you have to rush in and hope sliding doors won't hit you.

if it wasn't dark outside, I'd prefer to walk.

when I arrived downtown, at our designated meeting place, it was 6:25 and raining.

we didn't discuss where we'd go, only subway station waypoint. I tried calling my friends, but, figures, one of mobile network carriers decided it's time to shut down - I couldn't reach any of them.

just so you'd know, here we have two major carriers and a bunch of minor ones. small carriers usually utilize major carriers' networks. that's why if it fails, it fails big. millions of people are left without mobile phones. 

therefore I waited, thankfully having a hood. a call from an unknown number, my network. I found them, already buying pastry and coffee. a fourth person joined our group. yes, I knew that person and didn't mind. 

a girl behind the counter pleaded we didn't use our 100 or 200 bills, because she had no change. downtown, evening rush hour. huh? I decided to pity her and use my 200 bill to pay for two people. was the last to order and pay. got my change, took two steps from the counter and sorted through bills I've been given. it's never a good sign when you receive change with small bill mixed with big ones. they teach cashiers to sort money when giving change. 

the biggest bill in my set of change (100) was glued together, but completely torn apart before. also neatly stuffed in a pile so if you didn't examine it with a sort of scrutiny and turned it upside down to see the glue all over the back side, you wouldn't notice.

I didn't wait to let another person - a stranger - make her order, threw the bill in question on the counter and demanded a 'valid one'. yes, demanded, because I wasn't in the mood for being overly polite to a little 'nice' girl behind the counter who first asked customers for cooperation and then tried to trick them into accepting an invalid bill that amounted to ~$12. my coffee cost $2. 

she gave me another, valid bill, without a word, question or apology. if you needed proof she knew what she was doing, here it was.

we sat at the table and after several minutes got our orders brought in by another girl, a waitress. she placed coffee cups around the table with a smile. I wasn't paying attention when she was moving around the table, but after she was gone took a good look and saw that my coffee cup and spoon that accompanied it were dirty with some muddy substance. just enough to be visible. like it wasn't cleaned before served to me. I looked around and saw that other cups were sparkling white. 

I couldn't help laughing, scoring a look from my friends. you won't persuade me it was a COINCIDENCE.

I could make a scene and talk to their manager, leave a written complaint that would cost them during next inspection. I would consider doing so, if we didn't have a person who had her share of very back luck lately and didn't gather here to comfort her. so I put sugar into coffee to pretend everything's ok, but didn't touch it. to hell with small smiling 'nice' girl behind the counter. and her friend the waitress.

you don't have to guess that I won't be visiting that establishment anytime soon.

nevertheless...

I never quite understood the need to turn spiteful when you lose a game. 

ok, you tried to trick me and failed. deal with it. it wasn't *me* in the first place who handed you - or your establishment - an invalid bill. and you've accepted it, overlooked it. why spite towards the person that didn't get tricked in your place?

yeah yeah, I know it's against human nature. we are spiteful after all. most are. 

and sore losers. 

one of my friends tried to reach her husband, but network kept to its failure. they set a place to meet too ambiguously in the morning, so she was worried he would be angry. he was, when we found him at another subway station later in the evening. 

when we separated after an hour or so at the coffee-shop, the rain poured more vigorously. the fourth person who had a car lent us an umbrella before saying good-bye. I had a hood, so I let the girls share it when we walked to look for 'lost' husband. 

as I said, he was angry that he couldn't get in touch with his wife and continuously showed us 40 out-coming calls to her number. we swore as one that none came through. actually, we used different mobile carriers to call *his* number, but it didn't connect because his network was down. 

eventually, he had to satisfy himself with the fact that he *found her*. or rather she found him. of course, almost an hour later than they planned. 

--------------------------------------

if you still wonder about my mood, my music player's been stuck at Nickelback recently.
if everyone cared, savin' me, far away, next contestant, someone that you're with, I'd come for you, AND when we stand together.

...

I won't talk of politics today.

If you follow recent news about Ukraine, you'd know why...

Turkey, photos

some photos from my vacation:

by the way, I loved their newly-built (well, it was newly-built then ^^) aquarium. I loved walking their underwater tunnel. and their exhibitions were great. as someone interested in marine life from childhood, I was happy to have been there. and maybe I'd return after several years to see new additions to their collections. they also must allow swimming in the pool with sharks by that time :)

this is a beauty, no matter how you look at it:

and... cats.
Turkey and cats.
I can write a long post about it.
in short, in Turkey cats are everywhere and do what they want. they are very clean and well-fed and usually lazy.

[the cat sleeping on the marketplace wares was photographed by my friend, thanks ^^]

something about Turkey

since I had no opportunity to have a vacation this year, I've been going through photos of previous years and found a stash of photos made in Turkey. 

I could have posted some of them here, but not many I think.

anyhow, as someone born in Kiev, and even more so - someone who graduated from school in Kiev, I've been stuffed with prejudice about Turkey. 

well, you know, 'classic' Ukrainian literature is very prejudiced against Turkey, and our 'mutual' history has enough blood spelt, therefore 'relationship' between nations.schoolchildren are bound to swallow is ... rocky. 

there's even a proverb about 'Turks', that tells us that whoever you call a member of Turkish nation must be stupid. generally, it means someone barbaric or unaccustomed to Ukrainian ways. 

just so we'd be clear - it's not my point of view, only the way tings are. Ukrainians were used to make fun of Turkey and its people. 

nowadays, having visited the country and spoken to lots of its inhabitants before and after my visit, I can say that Turkey is much more civilized than Ukraine. they have many reasons to make fun of Ukrainians. and that is the truth.

I won't go into details here, because there're simply too many things to say that illustrate how backwards-thinking we are compared to our neighbors. I'm not even mentioning Europe - Western Europe, to be precise. 

of course, Turkey has its own internal issues. but hell, they have self-respect and pride. they are willing to fight for their freedom and work for their living. they are more open-minded and welcome to strangers than 'customarily hospitable Ukrainians'.

instead of reading stupid old books in school and laughing at silly old jokes, repeating prejudiced statements, I urge everyone to go and see with their own eyes how thing stand now. 

без комментариев

500th post ... #2?

I wrote something really pathetic for my blog just a little while ago, but my mobile decided it shouldn't be published. 

So be it.

Therefore I need to think of something else...

Hm...

For example, while I was sleepy today (or yesterday) I hurt my left toe again. Or maybe it was all because of horrible blisters I got yesterday. Anyhow, having had a 'pleasurable' experience this spring (when I couldn't walk for at least a week even with pain medications), I was too careful with shifting weight on my left foot today. But, of course, I completely forgot about it in the evening shower and - who'd guess - managed to survive. Heels are off the list for at least a week, though... 

By the way, does it happen to anyone but me so often? Hurting myself (unintentionally) while almost sleep-walking? Spacing out or deep in thought until you hit something. Thankfully, only indoors. And I'm very careful with stairs, due to another 'pleasurable' experience in my childhood. 

I just remembered...

...when I was 13 an ophthalmologist had told me I may not be recovering because I don't want to see the world around me. That I had a sort of mental block and was telling myself not to see. 

It gave me a shock, then. Because I really had similar thoughts in my mind. 

Applying that logic there may be some sort of perverted sense in my casual unintentional accidents.

Joking :)

ftisland - you are my life

I've never seen the vid for this song before I started looking for youtube video to post.

honestly, I'm disappointed a bit. my own vision of it (in my mind, of course) has been completely different.
but the song is great. I've been listening to it over and over for some time now.



I'll add live performance of this song jsut so there'd be English-subbed version. Lyrics are pretty simple, actually. Even with my Japanese skill I was able to get 95% of this song without resorting to written lyrics.
Not the best performance, though... but it'll suffice for now. [oh yeah, I fear that effect devices hadn't been set up properly for main vocal]


of course this translation is very basic,
for example, when he sings 'unmei da nante ieru kamo ne' I'd say it means something like 'there may really exist the thing called destiny', not 'maybe this is our fate'... but oh well...
things get lost in translation.

and a thing about translation - yeah yeah I'm editing this post to add something for the 3rd time... 
this video reminded me how I was scared to learn Japanese several years back. video here uses a practice dunno-what-very-'intelligent'-person started, writing all particles and verb combinations together, as one word.
so at one point we get scary (as hell) line:
"sonosubetega bokunosubete kiminashidewa... ikiteyukenai"
actually, it's a completely normal line:
"sono subete ga boku no subete kimi nashi de wa... ikite yukenai"
makes one hell of a difference, eh?

when you see a language with words that have 10 letters or more, you start to think it's very hard to learn.

Halloween and Guild Wars 2... and delusions

hey, it's almost Halloween time.

and you know why I know about it? because Guild Wars 2 that I've been playing features Halloween events :) [as for this event - I've never seen so many people in one place in GW before... it gets to the point where I think about lowering my graphics settings]

otherwise, I'd be just working, eating and sleeping - and occasionally logging into GW. 

 I'd like to write more here, but it's gotten pretty late again. days run away so unexpectedly...

nevertheless, I've decided to share some screens of GW2 I've made and as I write this they're uploading to Google drive. and by 'some' I mean almost all I've made so far :)

other happenings in my life...

my cousin got married, the youngest of us (cousins). her wedding that I've attended is a separate topic altogether. 

I thought I'd have time to got out with my friend today, but my colleagues decided against it by presenting me with yet another Friday afternoon 'opportunity' to exercise anger control >.<

therefore I'll get some time off (hopefully) when we'll go watch Gravity this week-end. 

upload 34% done...

[I guess I'll go get myself some tea right now]

recently watching Big Bang Theory makes me think of certain real people who remind characters of the show. hell, one person could easily fit into the show.  I wish I had as much arrogance to think I'm never wrong and everyone should bend to my will because it's absolute. Or I don't... don't wish I had that much stupidity. 

delusions help to live in this imperfect (to say the least) world, though they also make one ... delusional. it actually intrigues me: whether it's better to live in a world that exists only in your head, so to say... the world that you can control and always pretend everything's ok. or shift your delusions so everything would seem ok.

some say games are a way to escape reality. I guess the real difference lies in whether one can distinguish what's in-game world and what's real world. what's in his/her head and what's really happening. what's his/her wistful thinking and what's a possibility.

I admit, the line is blurry here.

still, I think the worst mistake one certain person makes over and over is making a conjecture about life in general based on principle that everyone sees the world just as [that person] sees it. Or, rather, [that person] just denies a possibility that someone else's point of view may be right. 

certain people who 'defend' gay rights do the same thing: 

they label people that don't support gay movement 'bigots' (etc), while shouting that everyone has the right to do what he/she wants... what they forget is that following that logic people who don't support gay agenda should be allowed to voice their opinions freely...

no use thinking about.  

I've decided to live and let die, so to say. can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. 

oh, my screens are uploaded at last. 

so, here's the link, in two parts [glue them together and you'll be able to see shared folder]:

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B-Yaan

and of course after some text another part of the link

NuRoxlRWZneFFKenQ5cTQ&usp=sharing 

guess that's it for today, I really need sleep.