life that stopped

I'm going to break a promise to myself here, only a little bit...

I swore to myself I won't be talking about politics here. That I'll cut down time spent on ruminating about it. It's bad for my cardiovascular system. 

Though earlier today I stumbled upon an article written about relatives of MH370, you know, the missing Malaysian aircraft. The emotions described there correlated with my own... and not only my own. Millions of people in Ukraine and Russia are living like this now... 

Please don't think that I somehow devalue the hardships relatives of the passengers of the missing plane face: it's just horrible to be in their position, to lose loved ones this way, always scouting for every new clue, doubting everything and having hopes high at every puny possibility. 

Still, life in Ukraine has stopped in a similar way.

Surrounded by uncertainty in tomorrow, it's hard to function. You tell yourself you won't read news, you won't talk about, because if you did you'd get absorbed in reading or discussing it or just fall into such bad mood that no work is possible. You can't work or rest properly, because every spare minute you have to fight the desire to read news. Futile hope that something will work out for the better. Or at least that we all will die in a huge nuclear explosion...

Indeed, ignorance is a bliss.

As you move around the city, you see it everywhere. Not only offices and homes with internet access have stopped their usual lives. Shop assistants and street merchants are discussing political news - among themselves or with customers; public transportation drivers are discussing politics with passengers close at hand; bartenders and servers are talking in their small circles whenever they have free time; political talk and frustration are everywhere. You hear strangers discussing something eagerly at the bus stop; you hear couples talking about it when you walk by, you see elderly people gathered in the yards near benches, some getting very loud in their eagerness. Construction workers are discussing chances that Ukraine can win in a war against Russia while having their lunch. And when you meet your friends, it's only a matter of time until you start talking about IT. 

What's more, some people are descending into half-hysterical (or hysterical) state. Some are getting more and more aggressive. In my case, I'm getting plagues by half-hysterical relatives. The sort of people you can't just ignore, no matter how much you wish you could.  

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow, for that matter. 

It's unnerving and painful almost on a tangible level. 

"May you live in interesting times", heh?

It's supposed to be a curse and it is.