Failed pickup lines

Почитала по приколу trending topics на твиттере...
И смешно и грустно читать. Часть всего этого можно услышать и у нас, а большую часть в некотором видоизмененном виде.
И мною еще выбраны не самые пошлые и дыбильные...

"За страну обидно" (с)
А точнее, за... та ну его. :)

Много букаффф.

ouchhh do u have a band aid... I jus scraped my knee falling for u
licks finger and touches the person* lets get you out of those wet clothes!
Hey Baby, I noticed you noticing me. I just wanna put you on notice that I noticed you too
how about a f.ck and a pizza? What you don't like pizza?
I wasn't sure if you were a beautiful angel or a sexy devil, but now that I'm close I see heaven in your eyes.
If I could rearrange the alphabet girl I'll put I and U together
Aren't you tired? `Cause you've been running through my mind all day.
MMMMh GIRL!! You're one tall glass of water, and, I'm tellin' you straight up, I'm thirsty..
Where you born on a farm? Cause you sure know how to raise a cock!
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
can we fuck now and i'll take u out later? Cause I don't get paid til Friday...
Let me buy you a drink. It comes with a free condom.
What has 52 teeth and contains the Incredible Hulk? My Zipper
how about we go to my place and engage in some simple harmonic motion?
if you were a hamburger you'd be a Mc Gorgeous!
does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
"Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready."
Do you have a map? Cuz Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.
why should i try to pick you up when i can take you down
If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel,Id store my nuts in your hole.
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?
Was that an earthquake or did u just rock my world?
Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? ...Because your face looks pretty f.cked up.
"My two favorite things are s3x & violence, and I'm happy to end this conversation either way...if you catch my meaning."
Nice legs, what time do they open?
Hi, I am your slave, take me home and mistreat me.
I'm No Weatherman But U Can Expect More Than A Few Inches 2nite!
Your a magnet, I'm a staple, I'm attracted to you.
Is your name Gillette? Because you're the best a man can get
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you
"U got a minute?? (response) "NO"...(reply back) that's ok, I got two..u could borrow one of mines"
Do you accept paypal?
U must be in the army cuz anytime u come around I rise to attention
Hi, my name's ______. You better remember it cause you'll be screaming it later!!
You're not the prettiest girl here but no one else is talking to you...
heres 10p go call your mum and tell her your not going home toniht, your coming to mine instead
I lost my number, can I have yours
S3x is a weapon but my aim isn't to hurt you
Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
If i followed u to your house, would u keep me?
I'm Rich
so wat do u want for breakfast?
I'm trying to make sure I'm not gay. Can u f.ck me so I can see if I'm
I've just moved u 2 the top of my "to do" list
Can I take your picture? Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas