Cockroaches

Cockroaches born at someone's kitchen think they own the place.
And we think we own Earth.

Just saying...

...

I'm still eating leftovers from New Year's party...

Why do we have to buy/cook so much food for celebrations?
Each time I'm trying to cook less... and still...

Happy 2015, people!

Now we must learn to write 2015, not 2014.
Always a pain...

Aquarium and my favorite fish

Found photos of my recent trip to Turkey, including that of my favorite fish - favorite to look at, of course, I wouldn't like to meet it in the water.

And another photo show tiny creatures we're not used to see... alive. Guess what those are.

...

* * *

The year is nearing its end and it seems that there's been no progress whatsoever in my life... 

I always feel this way when I have to think about the past year.

* * *

It seems that we'll be having a rainy New Year after all. Even though we had about 20cm of snow some two weeks ago... A bummer.

I'm one of those who likes snow and -5-10C better than rainy and humid +5C.

Yes, today I was drenched by heavy rain that suddenly fell in the evening... and it's 20th of December... 

* * *

I have to make plans for NY without any desire to do anything. It's a bit of a drag each year. Hard to find something to do if you're not in for drinking the whole night. 

about physicians (MD)

Is it just me and my luck, or most physicians are extremely touchy and don't tolerate any doubt in their 'diagnosis'?

I always thought that it's the most obvious thing to ask questions 'why' a physician came to a conclusion you have to undergo a certain procedure and 'what negative after-effects' are possible. 

Yet, most physicians I've met in recent years become offended when you hint you have doubts in the diagnosis and would like an in-depths examination, OR ask to explain the prescription. 

Yesterday I had a discussion with one medical worker about it (the discussion was quite accidental in nature), and after a long conversation she asked: 'why do you mistrust physicians?'

I gave her the easiest explanation and the first example that popped into my mind, how when I was a pre-teen a certain physician misdiagnosed my issue completely, gave me treatment opposite to what was really required and by doing this aggravated the issue.

She (that medical worker from above) replied:

'Oh well, why do you take it so badly? Most children of that age have the opposite issue and require the opposite treatment, so it's no wonder your physician thought you needed it too. Your case was an exception'

Sweet, isn't it?

A physician who goes by numbers and doesn't even consider a possibility of 'exceptions' is no big deal?

A medical worker, a physician-in-the-making, thinks that people should take such physicians and their failures 'easy'. It's no big deal. But you should trust your physician, yes, you should. He knows best.

I'm afraid it's medical culture in general that produces such attitudes and results.

Avatar: the Last Airbender / Legend of Korra and real life

I've been watching Avatar: Legend of Korra recently, because let's be honest, this year's TV series aren't that good (to say the least).

[Be warned, I'm going to talk spoilers here]

Several years ago I've stumbled on Avatar: the Last Airbender cartoon, and even though it's supposed to be children's story, I liked it. Interesting characters are rare these days.

The Last Airbender follows a story of Aang, young Avatar (a wielder of all four elements of magic), who was supposed to uphold the balance of the fantasy world, but who was frozen in ice for a hundred of years, while the war waged by Nation of Fire ravaged the said world. Being extracted from ice, Aang starts on a journey to master all four elements of magic to be able to fight the Lord of Fire and stop the war. Such is the simplified plot.

The trailer below gives pretty good idea of the show, I guess.

The Last Airbender speaks of people's desire for power, their insecurities, their life paths.
Friends become enemies, enemies become friends.

...I wouldn't say it's meant for children only, because in my opinion if grown-ups can't find children's stories appealing, they're no good.

Seasons of the show tell us how Aang travels the world learning the elements and - subsequently - fights Nation of Fire. It ends with balance and peace restored (spoiler).

Legend of Korra begins 50 (or more) years forward in time, when avatar Aang is already dead and his power has passed down to a girl from Nation of Water named Korra.

Generally, I find Legend of Korra less interesting than story of Aang.
First of all, the world in Legend of Korra is a combination of magic and technology, a mix that is hard to pull off, and it hasn't been pulled off.
Secondly, Korra isn't as interesting as Aang. She's your typical over-confident teenager, a commonplace hero of commonplace cartoons. If Aang was wise and cunning by nature, Korra is impulsive and stubborn. Side characters also lack in charisma and uniqueness.

Season 1 of Legend of Korra tells us how a group of people plans a revolution to overturn the world order and destroy magic, so that non-magic-users would be as powerful as magic-users.

Season 2 of Legend of Korra tells us how certain group of people (you're getting a drift, yeah?) wants to gain power and rule the world by releasing the spirit of Evil imprisoned for centuries.

Season 3 of Legend of Korra revolves around a group of people (I guess you're not surprised by now), who want to reach 'ultimate freedom' by destroying all leaders of the world and thus making all people free and 'equal'.

This last concept of ultimate freedom was funny, because no one ever told us how that oh-so-secret organization would ensure that after a brief period of anarchy new rulers wouldn't take over the lands where leaders were destroyed. It didn't even look like main antagonists were power-hungry themselves, which would be a viable case, because they seemed so basking in the idea of chaos and anarchy and thought it was the only way humanity could live... So, they just 'knew' it would be for the best.

I guess you would agree with me, that humanity can't live without leaders. I'm not arguing that our present - or past, for that matter, - leaders are great and wise. I'm just saying that only rare individuals are able to live without so-called 'guidance', decide for themselves and take responsibility for those decisions. After all, responsibility is the most feared thing in the world. If big countries were to disappear, there would form smaller ones, or even groups of people living together, but there would always be a thing called 'leader'. Ultimate freedom may exist somewhere in Tibetan mountains among hermit monks, but humans as species are closer to 'herd' animals than we like to think.

Such stories remind me of our current political situation.

In the Last Airbender Nation of Fire started a war because it - or rather its ruler - wanted to rule the world, because... well... he thought Nation of Fire was the strongest, and the strongest must rule, it's their right.
And just because 'strong' think they are endowed to power, no 'ultimate freedom' is possible.

Halloween

my thoughts exactly...

A girl - my painting

I've been learning how to paint portraits in soft pastels.

Here's my first attempt - still unfinished, as it always happens - with pastel pencils to scale.

Someday when I'm brave enough, I'm gonna fix some issues in this painting. And that'd be a great test of how to fix errors in pastel pencils.

Below is a photo made from another angle (and at earlier stage of painting), but it shows the real tone of the painting. My phone tends to make everything look cooler than it is.

Tahtali 2365m

People had talked me into visiting a 2365m point - or rather a mountain - lately.
What can I say? Actually, it's rather boring to be at that platform as a tourist. The view is good, but after initial 30 minutes of awe you settle down and start to think 'what am I| going to do here for another hour?'.
And - worst of all - there's no place to sit down outside the restaurants. Therefore you're waiting for the cable-car down as a way to deal with boredom.

...

I haven't been writing here for a long time,
but lots of things have happened.

Still true to promise to myself not to talk politics if possible, I'd try to find other things to talk about.

Flight 17

I heard about Flight 17, it was around 6pm local time.

Now it's past 1:30am and I still can't calm down enough to go to sleep.

Maybe tomorrow I'll sort my thoughts and write something intelligible here about it...
for now...
let me say that at times like that I'd like to believe in karma.

something about doctors in Ukraine

Some time ago I had a scuffle with Ukrainian healthcare system. It's very illustrative, if anything.

It was Friday, I remember it well, and it was after noon when I felt stinging in one of my eyes, followed by redness and general discomfort, plus photophobia. Since before that I had mild inflammation of both eyes, I thought it'd pass after I cleaned my eyes. But several hours later (about 4pm) I thought I'd better have professional opinion about it, week-end approaching and all. 

I tried getting an appointment with a specialist I usually visited, only to find out he's moved out of Ukraine recently. I tried getting an appointment with another specialist of the same clinic, only to be told "oh well, it's Friday afternoon, we're booked and have no space for new appointments, maybe you'd like to come tomorrow or Monday morning?". 

I tried several another private clinics (that I had at least some faith in via word of mouth), though got the same answer. It's Friday, you know, and we're so busy we can't see you. Even if it's an emergency. And if it's an emergency, go to the ER. 

After 5th phone call I gave up on private clinics. 

Ukraine proclaims it has 'free' healthcare. Ok, we know it's not 'actually 'free', you have to pay for stuff. But usually you can visit your regional doctor for free, if you get through the queues. I knew where my 'assigned' regional healthcare unit was, I knew our 'family doctor' by sight, even though I never visited an ophthalmologist there. 

On Friday afternoon, though, I thought I'd have trouble getting 'free' visit without hurry.

So I hurried, and was in the queue at 16:45. The doctor was out (as customary here) and at least 5 other people were in front of me in the queue. 

A plate on ophthalmologist's door notified me she's working till 18:00 on Friday. 

As we waited for her to return and continue seeing patients (about 35 minutes), more people showed up, including a very old woman. When the 'doctor' appeared (40-something woman), instead of going into her office, she looked at the queue and started asking what each of us wanted. Her tone wasn't what you'd call 'polite'. 

When the 'doctor' saw the old woman, she told her: 'I'm not going to see you today, it will take too much time. Go home". 

The woman answered: "But you told me to come at 5pm today". 

"Oh I don't have time for you," was the answer. 

The old lady went away obediently. 

Another person was told 'to wait and see if he makes it in time to be examined".

Then the good doctor turned her eye on me, asking me who I was and why am I here.

I told her there's something wrong with one of my eyes, including reasons why I think it's important to get medical attention. She looked at me and said: "I don't know you, have you been here before?".

I said no, I haven't been to her office before (at least not in last 5-7 years), but I have the right because it's my assigned healthcare office. 

She said it might be my assigned office, but she's not going to see me unless I bring her a paper that my family doctor thinks I should see an ophthalmologist. Just so you'd know, family doctor's office is situated 10 minutes' walk away from ophthalmologist's office. Meaning just to get there and back would mean spending 20 minutes. And heavy redness of my eye is a proof enough that there's something wrong with it.

I understood her intention from the start, still had to ask: "If I go to get that paper, even in the best circumstances, there being no queue and such, it'll be around 6pm when I return".

She laughed and said: "Even better, you won't be here in time for my shift".

People in queue turned away, silent.

"Can I take it that you're unwilling to help me?" I asked.

She said: "I don't care about helping you, if you have not the paper from your family doctor, I don't owe you anything," and then she disappeared in her office. 

People in the queue said not a word, keen on keeping eyes off me. I looked at them, pitied them, and said I won't need any help from a person like that. I left.

It was around 17:30.

In the end I asked around and went to the ER that had an ophthalmologist, it took me around 20 minutes to get there by car. 

Ophthalmology ER staff was very bored. They were very nice to me, listened to my story, why I thought it might be urgent, told me I was right to come because it could have been urgent; then they called two doctors from the Hospital where ER was situated to examine me... everything was quiet and civil. 

It turned out to be a bad case of bacterial inflammation, I had multiple eye drops prescribed and scolded for not taking care of it earlier, before it's gotten so bad. 

One of the doctors asked me why I didn't go to my regional office (they knew which one it was, because I had to give them my home address), because the ophthalmologist there is said to be 'not bad'. 

I told them I was turned away just now by that ophthalmologist, and they told me "she has a temper, but she's not that bad when she's in the good mood". 

Apparently, her 'temper' is quite well-known in medical circles, but such behavior is tolerated. 

I decided not to get involved with such 'professional', if I have a choice. 

end on June, 2014

Lots of things changed since I've written here last
and again I have the urge to break a promise to myself and talk about politics...

Politics...
situation in our country is getting graver.

People do not understand the course that our newly-appointed 'leader' took...

The outrage is starting to form... angry talks in the streets, accusing government of doing nothing but playing into "enemy's" hands...

I understand people that call our 'leader' "Пётр I" (Peter the Great in English), because it seems that his ambition lies in titles, not actual deeds...

I fear how it all might end.