summer of 2015

I'm so sleepy today that I started putting my glasses on contact lenses...

I've been ill for more than a month this summer (thanks to our 'free' GPs, no doubt) and still more likely than not to feel under the weather each given day.
It gives me no confidence in myself.

When I think of a vacation I feel like hitting something with something very heavy. I don't want to go anywhere, I'd like to have a quiet nice vacation in my hometown first. To settle my feelings and be comfortable, instead of all those 'new experiences' advertised by friends/family.
No one seems to understand, though...

moving from win7 to win8

I've been moving from win7 to win8; as usually the process took more than two days and still ongoing.
Reinstalling OS is such a pain... getting a new HDD is even greater pain... moving and sorting your stuff... urgh...

priming paper

when I was priming paper for oil paint today [yes, I've started doing some paintings in oil], I kept thinking that if I was born rich and/or not in this country, I could have had a studio for messing with primer (instead of my kitchen space).

then again, it could have been worse. you never know...

a short post about mornings

...
what have I been doing this morning?
I have no ida, but it's already past 1pm.
Yeah, I've been doing paperwork for past community events I've helped to organize; then I did some paperwork for future events.
Paperwork @#$%.

recent holidays

You may or may not know that in May Ukraine has a lot of holidays.

Usually people gather to drink and eat bbq during May holidays, but I'm not a fan of drinking. And to tell the truth, this year my friends just weren't up to bbq.
Bad weather, fires at Chernobyl, general situation in the country - all of this attributed to the fact that we couldn't gather a big company of friends like we used to.


Instead, I spent time with those of my friends who had time to spare and willed to do so. We were playing board games, visited various parks... had some food :)

I like sushi so it's no wonder we went to eat some. I don't have too many chances to eat sushi lately, so...

Even though it's May, at night temperature is still about +5C and in the morning it's generally freezing.

And it's been raining steadily for several days.








Several spring-like pictures follow :)

another Monday morning

It's past 11am in the morning, on Monday, birds are singing outside my window, but I feel like it's past 6pm already.
Can't drink coffee any more, so I've made myself a cup of cocoa.
Happy beginning of the week.

Last Sunday of March 2015

Yesterday, as it's become customary in Ukraine, we had snow and cutting winds. Let me remind you that it was the last Sunday of March, almost April. You see first buds on trees and then you see big loafs of snow falling from the sky...
'Typical' April...

Air pressure roller-coaster ridden weather doesn't help you maintain mental stability... even if you haven't been prone to personality changes before.

I had a more than two hours long walk in that weather yesterday, it wasn't anything you'd call 'lovely'.

Cockroaches

Cockroaches born at someone's kitchen think they own the place.
And we think we own Earth.

Just saying...

...

I'm still eating leftovers from New Year's party...

Why do we have to buy/cook so much food for celebrations?
Each time I'm trying to cook less... and still...

Happy 2015, people!

Now we must learn to write 2015, not 2014.
Always a pain...

...

* * *

The year is nearing its end and it seems that there's been no progress whatsoever in my life... 

I always feel this way when I have to think about the past year.

* * *

It seems that we'll be having a rainy New Year after all. Even though we had about 20cm of snow some two weeks ago... A bummer.

I'm one of those who likes snow and -5-10C better than rainy and humid +5C.

Yes, today I was drenched by heavy rain that suddenly fell in the evening... and it's 20th of December... 

* * *

I have to make plans for NY without any desire to do anything. It's a bit of a drag each year. Hard to find something to do if you're not in for drinking the whole night. 

about physicians (MD)

Is it just me and my luck, or most physicians are extremely touchy and don't tolerate any doubt in their 'diagnosis'?

I always thought that it's the most obvious thing to ask questions 'why' a physician came to a conclusion you have to undergo a certain procedure and 'what negative after-effects' are possible. 

Yet, most physicians I've met in recent years become offended when you hint you have doubts in the diagnosis and would like an in-depths examination, OR ask to explain the prescription. 

Yesterday I had a discussion with one medical worker about it (the discussion was quite accidental in nature), and after a long conversation she asked: 'why do you mistrust physicians?'

I gave her the easiest explanation and the first example that popped into my mind, how when I was a pre-teen a certain physician misdiagnosed my issue completely, gave me treatment opposite to what was really required and by doing this aggravated the issue.

She (that medical worker from above) replied:

'Oh well, why do you take it so badly? Most children of that age have the opposite issue and require the opposite treatment, so it's no wonder your physician thought you needed it too. Your case was an exception'

Sweet, isn't it?

A physician who goes by numbers and doesn't even consider a possibility of 'exceptions' is no big deal?

A medical worker, a physician-in-the-making, thinks that people should take such physicians and their failures 'easy'. It's no big deal. But you should trust your physician, yes, you should. He knows best.

I'm afraid it's medical culture in general that produces such attitudes and results.

...

I haven't been writing here for a long time,
but lots of things have happened.

Still true to promise to myself not to talk politics if possible, I'd try to find other things to talk about.

something about doctors in Ukraine

Some time ago I had a scuffle with Ukrainian healthcare system. It's very illustrative, if anything.

It was Friday, I remember it well, and it was after noon when I felt stinging in one of my eyes, followed by redness and general discomfort, plus photophobia. Since before that I had mild inflammation of both eyes, I thought it'd pass after I cleaned my eyes. But several hours later (about 4pm) I thought I'd better have professional opinion about it, week-end approaching and all. 

I tried getting an appointment with a specialist I usually visited, only to find out he's moved out of Ukraine recently. I tried getting an appointment with another specialist of the same clinic, only to be told "oh well, it's Friday afternoon, we're booked and have no space for new appointments, maybe you'd like to come tomorrow or Monday morning?". 

I tried several another private clinics (that I had at least some faith in via word of mouth), though got the same answer. It's Friday, you know, and we're so busy we can't see you. Even if it's an emergency. And if it's an emergency, go to the ER. 

After 5th phone call I gave up on private clinics. 

Ukraine proclaims it has 'free' healthcare. Ok, we know it's not 'actually 'free', you have to pay for stuff. But usually you can visit your regional doctor for free, if you get through the queues. I knew where my 'assigned' regional healthcare unit was, I knew our 'family doctor' by sight, even though I never visited an ophthalmologist there. 

On Friday afternoon, though, I thought I'd have trouble getting 'free' visit without hurry.

So I hurried, and was in the queue at 16:45. The doctor was out (as customary here) and at least 5 other people were in front of me in the queue. 

A plate on ophthalmologist's door notified me she's working till 18:00 on Friday. 

As we waited for her to return and continue seeing patients (about 35 minutes), more people showed up, including a very old woman. When the 'doctor' appeared (40-something woman), instead of going into her office, she looked at the queue and started asking what each of us wanted. Her tone wasn't what you'd call 'polite'. 

When the 'doctor' saw the old woman, she told her: 'I'm not going to see you today, it will take too much time. Go home". 

The woman answered: "But you told me to come at 5pm today". 

"Oh I don't have time for you," was the answer. 

The old lady went away obediently. 

Another person was told 'to wait and see if he makes it in time to be examined".

Then the good doctor turned her eye on me, asking me who I was and why am I here.

I told her there's something wrong with one of my eyes, including reasons why I think it's important to get medical attention. She looked at me and said: "I don't know you, have you been here before?".

I said no, I haven't been to her office before (at least not in last 5-7 years), but I have the right because it's my assigned healthcare office. 

She said it might be my assigned office, but she's not going to see me unless I bring her a paper that my family doctor thinks I should see an ophthalmologist. Just so you'd know, family doctor's office is situated 10 minutes' walk away from ophthalmologist's office. Meaning just to get there and back would mean spending 20 minutes. And heavy redness of my eye is a proof enough that there's something wrong with it.

I understood her intention from the start, still had to ask: "If I go to get that paper, even in the best circumstances, there being no queue and such, it'll be around 6pm when I return".

She laughed and said: "Even better, you won't be here in time for my shift".

People in queue turned away, silent.

"Can I take it that you're unwilling to help me?" I asked.

She said: "I don't care about helping you, if you have not the paper from your family doctor, I don't owe you anything," and then she disappeared in her office. 

People in the queue said not a word, keen on keeping eyes off me. I looked at them, pitied them, and said I won't need any help from a person like that. I left.

It was around 17:30.

In the end I asked around and went to the ER that had an ophthalmologist, it took me around 20 minutes to get there by car. 

Ophthalmology ER staff was very bored. They were very nice to me, listened to my story, why I thought it might be urgent, told me I was right to come because it could have been urgent; then they called two doctors from the Hospital where ER was situated to examine me... everything was quiet and civil. 

It turned out to be a bad case of bacterial inflammation, I had multiple eye drops prescribed and scolded for not taking care of it earlier, before it's gotten so bad. 

One of the doctors asked me why I didn't go to my regional office (they knew which one it was, because I had to give them my home address), because the ophthalmologist there is said to be 'not bad'. 

I told them I was turned away just now by that ophthalmologist, and they told me "she has a temper, but she's not that bad when she's in the good mood". 

Apparently, her 'temper' is quite well-known in medical circles, but such behavior is tolerated. 

I decided not to get involved with such 'professional', if I have a choice. 

end on June, 2014

Lots of things changed since I've written here last
and again I have the urge to break a promise to myself and talk about politics...

Politics...
situation in our country is getting graver.

People do not understand the course that our newly-appointed 'leader' took...

The outrage is starting to form... angry talks in the streets, accusing government of doing nothing but playing into "enemy's" hands...

I understand people that call our 'leader' "Пётр I" (Peter the Great in English), because it seems that his ambition lies in titles, not actual deeds...

I fear how it all might end.

...

Just saw not-so-unknown writer rant on Twitter that…

… if people want him to write something ‘not overly commercialized’, they should buy at least 2 or 3 copies of his ‘commercialized’ work so he’d have time for something else.

 ‘Buy more of my #### now and I pinky swear I’ll write something good’

Should it really be that way?

almost May

Despite it being almost May, some kind of a virus is rampaging in our city: I constantly hear from people who'd fallen sick like me. Our symptoms match (mostly), like in any respiratory virus outbreak...

I couldn't sleep today because of severe discomfort in my sore throat... and medicine helps only for a short while. Hope it will pass soon, because it's tiring and annoying.

...

"George goes to sleep at a bank from ten to four each day, except Saturdays, when they wake him up and put him outside at two"

I hope you guessed what book I'm re-reading now :)

...

Why do you usually come down with flu precisely on weekends?
Why not, say, Monday morning instead, you wake up, feel terrible and stay home?

Another year has passed

Well, I'm officially one year older.

It's not that it's my BD or something. no. I've had my BD some time ago, just had the time to reflect upon it.

What did the past year bring?

What will the new one bring?

Accomplishments of the past year aren't that great by any standards, but I guess even surviving counts nowadays :)

Of course, I've learned something new, that counts too. I've learned a lot of new things, actually. But my accomplishments always seem minuscule if compared to quite a lot of people I know. Then again, money isn't the only things that matters in this world.

Or so I'm inclined to think :)

Then again, money come and go, and come easily if you're lucky. While I could never call myself lucky.

Rather, my latest adventures prove that small troubles seem to be attracted to me, or at least there're times in my life when they just can't pass me by and find someone else to bother.

That didn't change even as I grew older.

Eh...